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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24541786">now you're just somebody that I used to know</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violeen/pseuds/Violeen'>Violeen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SKAM (Italy)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memories, Past Relationship(s), Unresolved Emotional Tension</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 11:08:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24541786</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violeen/pseuds/Violeen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started like a normal evening out.<br/>Then Niccolò saw Luai, and he was swallowed by guilt and remorse again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Niccolò Fares/Luai Marrash, Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>now you're just somebody that I used to know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi y'all !<br/>I've wanted to write this for a freakin' long time, ever since season 4 of SKAM Italia aired, and it's finally here !<br/>Hope you guys will enjoy this ! Remember to leave kudos and/or comments if you did !<br/>Thank you so much for reading ! Come talk to me on tumblr : https://evak-elu-nicotino.tumblr.com/</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was nothing out of the ordinary in the way Niccolò and Martino left home that night.<br/>
Niccolò spent an unreasonable amount of time trying various outfits, and Marti just laughed, eyes warm and full of fondness, standing in the doorframe, watching his boyfriend change clothes and shaking his head.<br/>
“It’s just a high school party, Nico, you don’t have to go through this much trouble, you know”, laughed Marti before joining him across their bedroom and kissing him square on the lips.<br/>
“Your hair looks incredibly good, though”, he mutters against his mouth, and Nico smiles, eyes lighting up, offering him the kind of smile Marti’s heart can’t handle. This blinding smile, like Marti’s hung up the moon.<br/>
“You’re too cute for your own good”, Nico whispers, so sweetly that Marti just has to shake his head, eyes never leaving his. He sees in Nico’s eyes the want, the lust, and he checks his watch. Before his boyfriend even has the time to kiss him, Marti pulls back and gets ready to leave the room. Nico whines and pouts, and Martino stops himself from granting him that kiss, because he just knows they’re gonna be late otherwise. Judging by the look on Nico’s face right now, it’s more than clear that “just kissing” isn’t what is on his mind.<br/>
“We don’t have time, amore”, Marti laughs, and he’s already standing in the hallway. “Come on, put on a shirt and let’s go, you know how Elia and Luca are whenever we are late…”<br/>
Nico laughs. Gio made his peace with the fact that “the two octopuses”, as he calls them, are seldom late since they live together (”gee, I wonder why !”, he usually says with a knowing grin, right before Marti slaps his arm playfully, a flush spreading across his face), but Elia and Luchino tease them mercilessly, and the last time they actually were late, Elia actually wanted to talk about their sex life the whole evening. Nico laughed it out, but Marti felt so self-conscious, he actually promised that they were never be late again. He knows that Elia will pick on them if they do so even one more time, so bad. And he doesn’t want to go through that again. God, that evening was the worst. Marti was blushing the whole time, and that gave Elia the time of day, of course.<br/>
Then again, the last time they were in Bracciano, Gio brought up the famous drawer Nico and Marti have by their bed, and Marti just struggled to keep his face straight and a little bit lost. But God, his mind, dirty mind of his, was replaying memories at the same time, and he had the hardest time faking the “I don’t understand shit right now” expression. He did, in the end, and the moment he got home, he told Nico, who just burst out laughing.<br/>
“Oh, Marti, you know it’s actually healthy and normal to have sex with your boyfriend, right ? There’s nothing shameful about that, especially when my boyfriend is so damn hot”, he had claimed, before kissing Marti, hot and long, making Marti smile, kick his own shoes, close the door behind them, and effectively joing Nico in the bedroom, and taking part in activities involving stuff from the incriminated drawer. </p><p>Marti comes back to the present moment the moment Nico steps out of their bedroom, finally fully dressed, hair looking SO good. He smiles up at him, and joins him, putting shoes on, grabbing their jackets, and heading out before the clocks hits 9 PM.<br/>
Once inside Nico’s car, a present from his graduation last June - on which Nico insisted that this was now their shared car, his boyfriend not having one despite the fact that he got his driving license a few months ago - Marti kisses him soundly. He looks into his eyes, and he can’t help it from falling out of his lips, cheesy but so true.<br/>
“I love you”, he smiles, before Nico has the time to turn the engine on.<br/>
Niccolò gazes into his eyes, fully in the moment, calm and grounded like Marti likes to see him, like he’s anchored in the present, right here with him, his brain fully connecting with his body, making this exact minute sacred, in the semi-obscurity of their car, eyes on each other.<br/>
Staring at Nico is something he does often, just because he can. And also because now he knows, he can pinpoint the moments where Niccolò is drifting off somewhere else, like his brain is muddled and unfocused. But mostly, because his boyfriend is amazingly beautiful. Somehow, his mind is reeling with the fact that they chose each other, all this time ago.<br/>
“You know I love you too, Martino Rametta”, Niccolò answers easily, his face soft yet very serious, like he’s afraid that Marti won’t believe him.<br/>
“I know”, he whispers back, sharing a quick peck on the lips, before they finally leave, on time, with ten minutes to spare. </p><p>Little does Martino knows that this evening won’t be as peaceful as he thinks it will be, right now, sitting next to Nico as they drive to the party. But he doesn’t have a clue yet, and before long they park right beside the club, taking the time to say hi to a few people.<br/>
Sana’s outside, texting someone, and Marti kisses her cheek, her neck cracking as she looks up sharply, before she realizes who it is. He laughs, and she rolls her eyes. “Hey, you made it on time ! Bravi ! Maybe Elia and Luchino will leave you be this time,” she smiles, seeing Nico approaching them. He greets her, and motions towards the entrance.<br/>
“The guys already went inside, but I’m waiting for Federica, you two go in”, she explains, and they leave her with a smile and a wave.</p><p>It’s crowded inside, like a lot of those clubs usually are, and Martino’s hand squeezes Nico’s, just to make sure he’s not going anywhere. It’s not that he’s bothered by crowds, but all of a sudden he’s having flashbacks of Edo’s party last year. He really doesn’t wish to go through this kind of interaction again, and Nico looks at him like he understands. There are a lot of people here. They stick to each other, more than they usually do, just because Nico knows that Martino finds comfort in knowing that his boyfriend is here and that he’s not going anywhere. Marti’s not scared, exactly, he just wishes the incident from last year wouldn’t happen again. Deep down, he always knows there’s a possibility that it might, but he just can’t really wrap his head around it. </p><p>They’ve been dancing together for two songs already, when Marti’s back crashes with Gio’s torso, and Nico’s sandwiched between Elia and Luchino, who raise eyebrows at them, almost impressed.<br/>
“Wow, you guys aren’t late, what a day huh, there is a first time for everything then !” Elia jokes, and Marti just smiles vaguely. Gio is eyeing him quizzically, like he knows something’s up.<br/>
“Everything okay mate ? Elia and Luca aren’t bothering you with their stupid jokes, are they ? Because you know they don’t mean it, they just really like teasing you both”, Gio perks up, and Martino nods, eyes serious.<br/>
Before he can say anything, Nico intervenes.<br/>
“Marti’s just a bit insecure when it comes to big parties like these, because of what happened at Edo’s last year, with reasons, you knows, these guys were just complete and utter assholes”.<br/>
Gio’s brows furrow, and something in his expression changes. He pats Martino’s shoulder reassuringly.<br/>
“Hey, don’t worry, nothing’s like that’s gonna happen tonight, Marti, we’ll take care of it”.<br/>
He stares intently at Elia and Luca, whose jokes are long forgotten now.<br/>
“Yeah mate, just enjoy the party with Nico”, Elia pipes up, and Martino just want to hug his friends so bad. Judging by the look on Nico’s face, his boyfriend wants to do the same thing.<br/>
“Thank you guys”, they said in unison, and Luca high fives the both of them.<br/>
“Come on then, let’s go dance”, Gio says, face lighting up.</p><p>They do, indeed, and the girls end up joining them. Eva talks to Marti for a while, gently making fun of Elia who seems stuck up on Sana lately, out of the blue, and they both laugh upon seeing him trying to make a move on her by the bar. They both know Sana’s absolutely not interested in Elia, though, and Marti tries so hard to repress his own laughter. Eva, by his side, is reacting the same way.<br/>
This is good, Martino thinks, actually relaxing with Eva, being able to being friends like they were a couple years ago, before all of this shit with Gio happened. God, that was such a troubled time in his life. He’s so glad he’s got Niccolò by his side now.</p><p> They join the dancing group of their friends again, Marti kissing Nico softly on the lips, earning him a smile, and when the song changes again, Martino whines just a bit.<br/>
“No, come on please”, he begs, Nico in front of him trying to get him to change his mind. “Come on, please, I love this song”, he explains, eyes soft, and who is Martino to try and resist his boyfriend ?<br/>
They’re dancing close together, to some weird electro remix of Gotye’s Somebody That I Used To Know, and before long, Marti captures Nico’s lips between his, and they make out heavily for a few seconds, before they get interrupted by Gio, this time, who playfully makes fun of them and calling them octopuses once again. Yeah, right, Marti ponders, amused, I’ve heard that somewhere before… </p><p>Nico just smiles when Gio makes fun of them. Yeah, he loves Martino, and it shows, but damn it, he has the right to kiss his boyfriend whenever he wants to, he thinks, but there’s no bite to it, really, he truly loves how supportive Marti’s friends are of their couple, even if it means that they tease them endlessly and on a regular basis.<br/>
Nico’s about to go back to dancing, Marti engrossed in a conversation with Gio by his side, when he sees in the back, by the door, some new people entering the club.<br/>
He sees a flash of a black hoodie, full lips, and a pair of very clear eyes makes his inside go ice cold all of a sudden.</p><p>When said people come into full view, Nico almost faints right here and there.<br/>
Fuck.<br/>
This can’t be happening now.<br/>
He knew this could happen someday, he knew since Sana told him in front of his former high school, that Luai came back to Rome.<br/>
He knew, but he kind of hoped they wouldn’t cross paths again, Rome being a big city, and Luai not being a part of the life he was able to build since Virgilio. His life with Martino.<br/>
He wasn’t prepared to see him again, and to have all of these feelings of shame and guilt rushing back into his body, making him dizzy.<br/>
Across the crowded club, Luai makes eye contact with him, and Nico wants to disappear into the ground. He never felt so tiny, so full of sorrow and remorse in his life. </p><p>Memories flash quickly before his eyes, as if he’s watching a movie, and he can’t help it.</p><p>Luai, talking to him in his first day at Virgilio, his clear blue eyes piercing into Nico’s soul, and the sound of his laugh ringing in his ears, even years later.<br/>
Luai’s smile, caring, sometimes full-on flirty, and his red lips calling Nico’s attention way too often.<br/>
Luai’s shoulders in PE, broad and muscular. Nico didn’t even realize he was staring the first time, until Rami shoved his shoulder and he was brought back to their conversation in a second.<br/>
Luai’s arms around him during a tickle fight, one day they were hanging out, the five of them, right before Maddalena rang the bell to Nico’s house, and he never felt that ashamed in his life, feeling his skin prickle where Luai touched him, even as he’s kissing his girlfriend hello.<br/>
Luai’s voice when he films him playing piano during their school years together, his presence around him, his smile, his feather-light touches, the playfulness between them, Nico finding himself wanting to spend more and more time with his beautiful friend, scared as fuck to find out why.<br/>
His long evenings full of tears, anger and self-loathing, as he’s trying to process what’s happening to him. His brain feels overloaded, full of information about Luai, full of facts about him, like he’s trying to collect them.<br/>
Luai’s voice as he’s telling them some story in front of Virgilio, one morning before they go to class, and Nico realizes that he never felt this way about anyone’s voice before. Maddi is getting on his nerves, trying to control him and everything he does or says, but Luai’s presence seems to soothe him somehow. His friend is such a magnet, Nico can’t help but feel drawn to him, in a way that he didn’t fully understood before now. He’s having a freaking epiphany right before their high school, on a February morning, right before going to biology class, and he’s panicking now, breath coming out shallow and harsh.<br/>
Luai kissing him senseless, one fateful afternoon in Nico’s bedroom, lips and hips aligned, the sound of his own blood rushing his in ears, skin sensitive all over, guilt and want battling inside his head. </p><p>Nico feels Martino’s hand on his chest, and he realizes he’s been staring at Luai for a few minutes now, while his brain was unhelpfully providing very vivid images of their own story from years ago.<br/>
What a shitty boyfriend I am, Nico thinks briefly, but he can’t help it. He has to know if Luai is mad at him, has to know how he feels, how he is. He just has to talk to him. He needs closure, relief, he needs to assuage his guilt, a guilt that’s been eating him alive ever since Luai was taken away.<br/>
“I’m gonna say hi to someone”, he quickly explains, and strides towards Rami, Luai, Driss and Malik, feelings swirling inside his chest, and he knows he’s sweating. Nico tries to look cool and collected, but truth be told, he’s full-on freaking out. He doesn’t actually know if seeing Luai again is a good idea, he has no clue if saying hi to the guys is a good idea.<br/>
He has no idea if he’s doing the right thing, and his blood is rushing through his veins, making him light-headed, dizzy as fuck, nervous as hell.<br/>
What if Luai hates his guts ?<br/>
He swallows with difficulty at the thought, and before Nico knows it, he’s standing right in front of them. He doesn’t even recognize his own voice as he says hi to Rami, Malik and Driss, and then when his gaze finally falls on Luai, standing so close to him, he doesn’t know what to do with himself.<br/>
For a split second, Nico thinks about running far away, but Luai takes him by the shoulders and greets him, happily.<br/>
“Hey Nico”, he breathes, and Nico almost can’t believe it. How is he not mad at him ? How is he acting normal around him ? Does he not remember what went down ? Did he dream all of it ?<br/>
Luai grabs his arm and takes him outside.<br/>
The cool, windy air hits his face, and it’s almost like he can breathe again. Niccolò takes big gulps of the cool night air, and wishes his lungs would function normally.<br/>
“I’m not sure I can handle this conversation”, he hears himself saying, and to his surprise, Luai laughs.<br/>
“I’m not mad at you, Nico”, he ponders, and Nico can see in his eyes that he’s telling the truth.<br/>
“Why the hell not ? ‘Cause I’m sure mad at myself. And I felt guilty as fuck for a very long time, Luai, let me tell you”, Nico gasps, and then again, air is difficult to breathe, and he’s struggling to fight back tears.<br/>
Luai shakes his head in front of them, dead serious.<br/>
“Niccolò, come on, don’t take it out on yourself, the only culprits in this dreadful story are my parents. And this asshole of an Imam”, he says, eyes searching for Nico’s, who’s looking down at his own shoes. Deep down, he knows that, he knows it, but…<br/>
“I always felt like I shouldn’t have pushed you into it”, he mutters, and almost wishes Luai didn’t hear him. But he did.<br/>
“Nico, you never pushed me to do anything I didn’t want to do. Do I need to remind you that we kissed because we both wanted to, and that we…”<br/>
At this point in the conversation, Nico has closed his eyes, because that’s the only way he’s gonna stop the tears from falling on his cheeks. That can’t happen.<br/>
He hears Luai take a deep breath, and Nico braces himself for what’s to come.<br/>
“…We did stuff because we both wanted to, and there’s nothing wrong about that. It took me years to realize it, and I seriously hope you didn’t think I was mad at you, or something, because Allah knows that’s not the case at all”, the last words are whispered, and Nico’s chest unclench all of a sudden.<br/>
He didn’t know he needed to hear those words so badly, but truth is, Luai has just freed him from a enormous burden he’s been carrying for a long time.<br/>
“I can’t believe how much you’ve grown, though”, Luai ponders, and Nico’s eyes snap open. Is this the time where he needs to tell him about Martino ?<br/>
Oh God, Marti, Nico thinks, and panic must be written across his face, because Luai’s expression changes radically.<br/>
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…I reckon you have a…someone, in your life, by now”, he finishes, and Nico nods.<br/>
He looks at Luai one more time, before hearing Marti’s voice, yelling stuff from a few steps behind him, and before he can do anything, his boyfriend’s fist meet Luai’s nose.</p>
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